beetles scuttle through fallen oak leaves

meadow mouse weaves a nest of grass

flicker of wavering candlelight

a dozen or more flames dance & sputter

in the cool October mist

ivy-laden downspouts outline

an ancient crypt beneath a Hunter’s moon

its barred entrance faintly luminescent,

a teasing come-hither to what awaits inside

indecipherable headstones tilt at odd angles

footpaths littered with arboreal debris

chipmunks scamper among the graves

searching, perhaps, for long-lost kin

goes unnoticed / i take it all in / with gratitude & joy // reciprocation is my thing / when others fail to likewise respond / (sadly, more often than not) / i cannot help it / it drains me // i’ll seek out my own warmth & validation / burrowing in the comfort of my own embrace

sugar’s hitting me just fine

caloric intake, fats & carbohydrates

glucose, fructose, the entire gang

pastry cart with a chocolate chaser

i’m none the worse for wear

almost…

I didn’t want to do it.

The bed felt just too good, enveloping me with the cool caress of freshly laundered sheets and topped with a quilted comforter, one fashioned by my own two disbelieving hands, a cocoon of crisp cotton patterned in a fun Halloween print of orange, purple, black and gray.

The minutes ticked by but I knew it was inevitable. Eventually, I tossed the covers aside and pulled on my pandemic uniform: black lycra leggings, turtle neck, sweatshirt. After a quick peck on hubby’s cheek and a ruffling of puppy’s fur, I left the house at 5:05 under a Hunter’s moon. The air was a bit chill though I would not have objected had it been cooler still.

I walked for an hour and until the last fifteen minutes did not encounter another human out and about under their own power. There were a few cars at first but before long the roads and streets were busied with people driving to work, stopping along the way to McDonald’s for a quick breakfast or to drop precious cargo off at daycare.

I never want to get up so early in the morning. Staying in bed somehow feels so decadent at times, like I deserve this, like you can’t make me leave, like you can’t make me do this! That’s okay. I allow myself to take a few minutes, then perhaps a few minutes more. And yes, I’ll fall back asleep sometimes and don’t wake up until well after the sun has notched a few degrees above the horizon. But I always feel better when I do get up, before the sun does and I get my walk in for the day, first thing. The day is just off to a better start when I do!

i heard what you said / listen to it rattle round the inside of my head // gyrating like a jackhammer / unmuffled sin-chimes from our camel-hair bed // so / you tell me / you want me dead // or out of the house for a few days, instead / i can manage that / i think / give me awhile to give it a tink // if you don’t mind / and even if you do / if you would be so kind / it’s the least you can do / you don’t know that i’m privvy / to what i heard that you said / it’s all tucked away // up here in my head