Q. What’s a vampire’s favorite fast food?
A. A guy with very high blood pressure

Q. What do you call a Halloween boner?
A. Petrified wood

Q. Why don’t ghosts like rain on Halloween?
A. It dampens their spirits.

Q. What do you call a vampire that lives in a kitchen?
A. Count Spatula

Q. Why do mummies have no friends?
A. They’re too wrapped up in themselves!

Q. What do you call a tired skeleton on Halloween?
A. The Grim Sleeper

Q: What does a zombie get when it bites a ghost?
A: A mouth full of sheet!

Q: What would you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman?
A: A dead ringer!

Q: Did you hear about the Scottish zombie who died?
A: He was kilt!

Q: Why can’t you stab a zombie with a broken pencil?
A: Because it’s pointless!