post-gathering analysis —

there are definite

chinks in others’ armors

*

I’m not the only one

sporting weakness,

bruises & shameful deficits

the priest incenses the casket

and whatever steely resolve I possessed,

crumbles.

*

at the cemetery,

a light drizzle mists the air.

my son takes his place with the other

pallbearers, grasps a handle

and carries Mom to join Daddy

in the rain-soaked earth.

*

scalloped potatoes & ham, buttered buns.

everyone raves about the green beans,

of all things.

*

tears, hugs, a few photos.

promises to keep in touch.

then, it’s over. done.

families return to their vehicles,

gear up for the long drives home.

*

the following morning,

the sun, she be shining, scattered clouds

in a pale blue sky.

unbearable heat & humidity, again, today.

unpacking and loads of laundry to cycle through.

I eye the backyard, wet with dew.

definitely need to mow tonight.

*

six daughters, now unofficially orphaned.

our new normal begins today.

social media roundup

same old, same old

and so, that’s it…

woven purple placemats —

coneflowers, no longer a match

these once-vivacious colors of summer

now, a hastened fade to October

in a cozy chair, I journal next to a NW window

it’s early morning & the sun hovers, somewhere,

behind a sheath of milky-white clouds

*

stepping briefly outside for what I hope

will be fresh air, I’m stunned at its heavy stillness

*

I’m lost in a good book as darkness descends —

the leaves of our white birch hazard north to south

& rain polka-dots the dusty windows

in advance of the quickening onslaught

*

I continue with my reading,

the furious summer storm

a soothing balm to the internal ravages

Mom’s recent death has unleashed

~ for Mom, August 5, 1935 – July 16, 2025

husband notices a small group sitting on the ground,

in a tight circle, in a corner of lawn

when we pull up to the Vet’s office,

for Coco’s yearly vaccinations.

the clang & rattle of wheels on pavement

makes a loud, disturbing noise

as a young woman in scrubs pushes a small gurney

across the parking lot. ~ of course.  it makes sense now.

a mournful family, saying their final goodbyes, sharing memories

of happier days, expressing, I’m sure, just how much

this canine loved one has meant to each of them and how much

they’ll miss his silly antics, that goofy grin, those sweet puppy eyes,

laughing about when Fido was one very naughty little boy, indeed.  

and I am struck by a shared camaraderie.  ~ my mother passed away

two days ago, & our own small group of family and friends, will soon

gather in a few days to offer up our own memories and affections,

shed our collective grief and commune as one body to celebrate her life. 

we’ll share funny stories & zany anecdotes of one who’s meant so much

to us, each in our own time and in our own unique and loving ways.

hours now —

not days

six daughters

await release

morphine suspends the pain

my mother’s mind turns inward,

releases burrowed memories

confusing interiority with reality