From Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now, the pain-body is “a negative energy field that can take us over, that feeds on our pain and wants our pain to continue and increase.” ~ Ordinary Genius, A Guide for the Poet Within by Kim Addonizio
i draw my pain-body
i have defined it.
two distinct, indigestible flavors:
the Yawn and a Cheshire cat
Yawn: noun and verb
a bored reaction or manifestation
gracing the countenance of
familial females
i am dull, tedious
frequently glossed over
seldom heard
Cheshire cat: noun, fictional character
smug & serene
it sees, it knows, it adjudicates my crimes
its mischievous grin
mocks and flays me
what were you thinking
you stupid, stupid girl
i know what they look like
these inner wanderers
they walk the footpaths of memory
they spread doubt and reproach
six sailor dresses come spring
our inauthentic sisterhood
absence of nurture
absence of bonds
unrepentant enemies of an unstable childhood
grown into bewildered womanhood
these arbiters of conscience and action
now sprung to life
now, malodorous memes
exposed as they now are, i will adapt
seek recourse in myself
remove from them the power
they’ve held over me for far too long