The Me That I Am, Circa 1978

         At first, I was afraid, I was petrified…. I Will Survive, Gloria Gaynor

I fail in my embrace of Ms. Gaynor.
She empowers me
for only as long as the music still plays.
I am unable to translate her song into action.

Or resolve.

Time and again, I crumble
just as she vows she will not do.

Unsteady on my feet,
in every way that matters,
heart not (yet) forged in steel,
I feel almost broken.

I am always alone
and fear a future,
forver unwanted
never loved.

Still, fraud that I am,
I sing strong and proud.
But it is only for show.

Why can’t I be enough?

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