I fear, Dear Reader, that my outdated views on this particular topic are an undeniable indication that I have entered that final, sad realm of a woman’s life known as Upper Middle Age and that I am now firmly, irrevocably and forever more considered No Longer With It.

It always surprises me to see women wearing dresses and skirts, their painted toenails jammed into sporty little high heels, and they aren’t wearing panty hose but instead are naked from the hemline on down. Seriously? For one thing, I don’t think it’s a flattering look whatsoever. The sleek, finished look of hose on leg is much more attractive. Why do women think its preferable to go au naturel? It has to be kind of chilly too I would think. Whether it’s the AC cranked uber high in the summer time or the chill of autumn or even – I can’t bear to think of it – the frigid air of winter, I still see women with bare legs sticking out beneath their upper layers. What is up with that? Do they have space heaters ‘up above’ blowing hot air to warm their thighs, knees, calfs (calves?), ankles and tootsies? I also wonder: Don’t their feet get blistered with nothing to cushion their skin against the constant chafing of those leather pumps they’re wearing? And last but not least, I have to believe those Manolo Blahniks get mighty sweaty and stinky with nothing to buffer and absorb the perspiration oozing off their feet all day long.

I don’t know. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I really am No Longer With It but damn, I’m warm, I’m comfortable, my legs shimmer with a smooth trace of color – a la Barely There and Pearl, two of my faves — and my shoes don’t smell bad.

At least I don’t think they do…