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Uber-fans, like me, of the 1979 classic All That Jazz will recognize those lyrics from a film that chronicles one man’s journey toward his demise. The movie is chockful of spectacular performances and never fails to fill my eyes with tears.

Yesterday, less than a month after my own mother passed away, I attended the funeral of a beloved uncle. Sitting there, during what seemed an interminable though well-intended sermon, it occurred to me that I’ve reached that stage in life where one by one, my elders and eventually my familial peers will eventually meet the same fate. As will I…

There will be more funerals, the gaps between each one and the next more slender; they will not occur as infrequently as they did even ten years ago. My mother’s remaining six sisters’ and their spouses’ bodies are in decline, some more evident than others. My husband’s family, even larger, tells the same story.

We will be attired in black, yet again, many times in the coming days, weeks, months and years. None of us know the when only that the if will never fit inside the equation. Never has.

Angelique, the Angel of Death, who troubles and endears Joe Gideon in the film, is beautiful and charismatic. Joe both adores and fears her. Not yet, he tells her at one point, and she demurs, backs away, allows him to live a bit longer.

May we all live – well and truly! – just a bit longer though one day, this same inevitability will arrive for each of us.

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the boy is a puzzle

inconsistencies abound and yet,

occasional wisdom, keen insight

gems I never possessed

when I was his age

sometimes, lacking even now —

how, I wonder, did that come to be?

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Autumn is the mellower season, and what we lose in flowers we more than gain in fruits. ~ Samuel Butler

We’re on the downward slope of July. August will be here before you know it. Mom always said once you hit Independence Day, summer seems to just fly by. That’s been especially true this year. And, so, every year, round about this time, I start daydreaming about fall and the cooler, drier air that comes – blissfully, beautifully, serenely – as we venture into the loveliest months of the year, back-to-school September and the crown jewel, October.

Today, our dewpoints are firmly entrenched in the mid-70s, well into the ‘miserable’ range. Outdoor tasks, I do them quickly, eager to return to the chilling balm of air conditioning. This afternoon, I turned on my TV, navigated to YouTube and enjoyed a hint of fall by way of autumn asmr ‘ambience’ videos. Soothing rain, pumpkins, haystacks, crackling fireplaces, cozy sits with a steaming mug of yummy goodness, a colorful throw and lighted candles in every corner and on every shelf.

Looking a bit further down the road, I know there will be a multitude of Halloween asmr’s to make me shiver and put a creepy, comfy smile on my face. Truly, I cannot wait!

It’s still summer though and we just have to deal with all that glorious sunshine and her attending heat and humidity. We have plenty of time for boating fun, wineries, live music, riding bikes, margaritas out on the deck and, one of my favorites, the sound of cicadas turning our Chanticleer pear tree into a living, breathing network of buzzing castanets.

There are two kinds of people here in the Midwest, those who appreciate all four seasons (some more than others, like me!) and those who grumble about autumn’s approach because of ‘what comes next’. I love the change of scenery throughout the seasons and prefer to view the cyclical changes year in, year out with a more positive frame of mind.