The bar scene: Strobe lights, dancing,
Saturday Night Fever.
Places to shake your groove thing.
To see — and be seen. Guys, take note!

Girlfriends all made up, on the prowl
Going out on the town.
Best duds (new duds), eyes made up a bit too much: Spider Eyes.
High heels, wobbly as all get out but dang girl – so sexy!

Charlie, Opium.
White Shoulders, Enjoli.
Avon Sweet Honesty. Musk.
Love’s Baby Soft ~

“What’s that you’re wearing? Bug spray?!”

Perhaps not as hot as I’d hoped for, I’m afraid. Ah, youth.

Daily Prompt: Perfume

I have five sisters. But we ain’t got no sisterhood — that, you can bank on.

Oh, we go through the motions. We hug each other when we reunite after a long period of no interactions and then again when we part ways. We may occasionally end our texts and our phone calls with a cursory ‘love ya’ but there’s no undercurrent of stability or history or bonding there to support these proclamations. Not really….

This week, while doing some spring cleaning, I unearthed some old journals of mine, a few of which go back ten years or more. I made myself comfortable, sat down with a hot cup of tea and read through every one of them. A recurring theme, scrawled in my messy cursive which has since given way to a neater, tighter printed hand, was the hurt and anger and the renewed insistence on my part – time and time again – that I was going to, once and for all, keep my distance from my siblings. I was no longer going to allow myself to be disappointed and frustrated, I was tired of trying to fit in and be accepted and liked by them. And yet, I still tried.

How was it that my friends and co-workers found me to be a positive, fun and creative person but in the company of my sisters I was often little more than a bumbling incompetent, someone who’d made too many poor life choices, someone whose comments were often ignored, mocked or berated? I so wanted their approval. I wanted them to, a la Sally Field, simply just ‘like’ me – was that too much to ask for? Above all, I very much wanted the six of us, as well, to delight in and seek out each other’s company. I wanted the media-fed image of sisters as best friends, to experience a camaraderie amongst those of us who had been born to the same mother and father.

It’s gotten somewhat better over the years although a recent interaction makes me question even what little gains I thought had been made. And now, at age sixty, as the oldest of six girls, I should perhaps be wiser (and serene in that ‘wisdom’) but I still find myself feeling only cynicism and a grudging acceptance that what we are, what we have, of what our sisterly relationships have become, as being cast in stone. Knowing this, accepting this, realizing this may help me to manage my expectations but it doesn’t make this reality any less sad for me – or for any of us, really.

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This is true. Nothing happened on this ‘site’ in 1897; however, in 2014, something did happen here – I started blogging. A Sawyer’s Daughter is ready to embark on its third year and, as always, I thank each of you who’ve cheered me along the way. I’ve made some fantastic new friends – from all around the world! – and I am in awe of the camaraderie that is shared here in The Land of Blog with so many talented writers and photographers.

Here are a few of my posts from the last year that I’d like to share again ~

https://asawyersdaughter.com/2016/02/11/i-kissed-a-killer/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/11/04/knotwantingtochange/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2016/03/15/cees-fun-foto-challenge-indoor-seating/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/06/22/weathering-the-elements/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/06/12/m-c-escher-loop/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/06/06/pebbles-and-purple/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/06/05/friday-flower-3/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/07/23/thursday-doors-july-23-2015/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/07/22/the-class-of-1975/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/07/15/schools-out-forever/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/07/11/north-river-community-church-gravel-travel-expedition/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/07/10/friday-flower-8/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/07/09/a-harbinger-of-good/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/07/04/fern/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/07/03/friday-flower-7/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/08/23/six/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/08/22/sundown-in-the-hood/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/09/29/almost-enough-to-make-a-grown-man-cry/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/09/22/within-and-without/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/09/20/the-same-but-different/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/09/14/summers-end/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/09/13/my-trusty-steed/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/09/06/women-and-mowing/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/09/02/the-grass-is-greener-on-the-outside/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/10/31/the-visitor/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/10/27/carry-on/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/10/21/across-the-way/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/10/20/self-portrait-3/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/10/18/i-heart-october/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/10/14/employing-the-sun/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/10/11/chevy-color-tbd/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/10/10/festival-of-leaves-photo-challenge-week-6-2/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/10/08/photography-can-be-hard-work/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/10/05/weekly-photo-challenge-boundaries/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/10/02/friday-flower-20/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/11/25/a-contrast-of-textures/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/11/24/the-farm-museum-washington-island/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/11/23/all-you-need-is-love/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/11/19/walk-this-way/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/11/12/teeth-bristles-and-tines/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/11/08/a-little-color/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/11/06/friday-flower-24/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/11/03/ready-for-takeoff/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/12/23/out-and-about/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/12/23/wordless-wednesday/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2015/12/20/good-intentions/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2016/03/29/the-photographer/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2016/03/20/cees-oddball-photo-challenge-pastel-angel/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2016/03/05/hardscrabble/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2016/04/30/rainy-day-photo-play/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2016/04/12/cees-fun-foto-challenge-the-colors-white-blue/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2016/04/11/canada-goose/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2016/04/10/my-husband-captures-me/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2016/05/31/the-porch/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2016/05/29/adventures-in-photography-exposure-compensation/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2016/05/20/two-horses/
https://asawyersdaughter.com/2016/05/10/a-majestic-grove/

As a former collector of typewriters, such as this little beauty prominently displayed here in my home office…
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…I just had to snag a shot of this fun shoulder bag as we made our way through the crowded streets of 5th Avenue in Playa del Carmen! Oh, and I once owned an Underwood (NOT the House of Cards model) but it was somehow dislocated during a series of moves in my mid-20’s. This Corona, however, was always my pride and joy.

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I’m moving.

This is not a reference to a personal household move replete with boxed up clothing, knick-knacks and photos but rather a work-related relocation. Hmmm. On second thought, I guess there is some of that involved with this work move as well. I’ll need to pack up all of my desk top paraphernalia – trinkets, mugs, calendars, cube-wall hangings, family photos and holiday decorations as well as two cover-ups I keep in my desk to ward off the chilly AC environment many of us women are all too familiar with.

After working for eight years in the same west side facility, my new work digs will be downtown. I’m both excited and apprehensive about this change, due to take place later this week. The commute won’t be as far but we’ll face some certain bottlenecks on our drive into the heart of the metro. Parking shouldn’t be an issue and the skywalk system will provide some nice opportunities for lunch time exercise no matter the weather outside. There will be new people to meet, a different routine and some adjustments to be made. Yin and yang, some good, some bad. I’ll be fine.

To prepare for the move, I’ve started some housekeeping tasks that include, among your basic culling–the-herd chores, getting rid of the Day Timer calendar pages I have inexplicably retained over the years. Scheduled meetings, project notes, to do items, lists of what I had to eat and what I did in the way of physical activity each day are scribbled on most every calendar sheet. Sometimes the pages are blank. And occasionally I used them as form of journaling, vacation planning and daydreaming.

As I read through these entries, laboriously flipping over each and every page, I was reminded of how frustrated I’d been just a few years ago, both with work and with my family – situations that have righted themselves somehow and are no longer as much a source of stress as they once were. Or perhaps I’ve just learned to adjust? Some of my scribblings described my Adventures in Baking: a few failures, several delicious successes. A favorite theme, in my journals throughout the years, is What’s Ahead for the Rest of [insert year here]: an enumeration of weddings, graduations, concerts, parties, family gatherings and vacations complete with dates and locations. It’s somehow gratifying to review these check lists and mentally look forward to similar activities yet to come while looking back, reliving events long past.

Decorating ideas, landscaping and furniture placement diagrams, recipes, quotes, photography and blogging concepts, story lines, financial portfolio tracking as well as mundane (yet necessary) doctor appointment reminders – all this information, about me and my life, woven onto paper with pencil, highlighters and pen. So much to sift through here – I don’t know if I can find the time to get through it all.

It’s both fun and thought-provoking to go back in time, one page at a time, to re-examine the minutiae of my life – both on a personal and on a business level – the tasks, events, ideas, projects and plans that filled my days. I no longer use a DayTimer at work but I still journal, jotting down important (and trivial) thoughts, yearnings and observations as they pop into my head. While I’ve never tossed a journal, the time has come to discard these daily calendar pages much as it pains me to do so. However, it is possible, I suppose, that I might need to look up something that occurred way back on, say, Friday, June 5, 2009. Or I might get to wondering what I was doing on Sunday, February 13, 2011.

It could happen. Maybe I’ll just box them up for later…