Re-blogging this wonderful piece from a dear blogging friend of mine. I haven’t “known” her for long but I very much enjoy her writing and her photography. What I know of her from her blog, she is one very amazing and interesting person. Good job Martha!

marthaschaefer's avatarTherapeutic Misadventures

The connotations of the word “intimacy” were flooding through my mind on the way home from work. Is intimacy the tiny details we pick up from daily interactions with people? I shared an intimate secret with a woman who is most easily described as a customer. We know nothing about each other’s lives except her love of cooking and her passion for inspiring ingredients. Her unconscious aroma is lemon. We talked about essential oils and I shared my signature scent, the perfume I have worn daily for over 30 years; Annick Goutal’s Eau d’Hadrien. I first found it while working in Harvard Square. There was a small, hole-in-the-wall shop that carried only finest European soaps and perfumes. You could find a real, boar’s bristle hairbrush, exotic toiletries, and you could test out wondrous scents from decades of ago.

The intimacy I witness in other arenas of life are the ones…

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Younger generations, more of them than I care to contemplate, have never known anything other than 24×7 television, internet and social media. Growing up deprived (by comparison), as we did, our TV viewing was limited to the three networks and a local public broadcasting station. In truth, we really only had CBS and ABC since PBS and the NBC affiliate rarely showed themselves too clearly on the small (by today’s standards) black and white TV that sat in the corner of our Midwest living room.

Television was different back then in ways that surprise me now when I watch the syndicated reruns on Me TV. It was both simpler and more naïve while at the same time groundbreaking. Case in point: Norman Lear’s Emmy-winning masterpiece, All in the Family. Some of what was aired back then would never see the light of day now. One episode in particular comes to mind. The Bunker family was invited to a wedding reception of Archie’s nemesis George Jefferson’s son who was marrying a white woman. Archie offered up his trademark working class, bigoted banter and watching this just a few weeks ago, I was floored when I heard the n-word freely tossed about. Another program that I enjoyed when I was a grade school kid was Hogan’s Heroes. Certainly not in the same league as All in the Family, it is nonetheless hard to fathom now that any network would include a ‘comedy’ about Nazi concentration camps. A recent episode shown on Me TV included a scene in Colonel Klink’s office and I was shocked to see a framed photo of Der Fuehrer himself hanging on the wall.

Primetime television is one thing but when you’re a kid what you really live for is Saturday cartoons and afternoon matinees, especially when inclement weather meant a day stuck inside with little else to do once the boredom of board games, paper dolls and coloring set in (or in my case when you were between trips to the library and had nothing new to read).

Cartoons, propped up with a plethora of advertisements for the latest, must-have, sugar-laden cereals, were eagerly watched by all of us girls, especially when the new fall line-up began. Unfortunately, this was always short-lived as we had Saturday morning catechism and I always resented having to miss out on the new stuff that all my non-Catholic friends would be discussing come Monday morning when our school week resumed.

Aside from the usual animated fare, such as The Archies, Jonny Quest and Scooby Doo, we especially enjoyed programs such as The Monkees (‘Here we come…’) and The Hudson Brothers (‘Hey, Margolis!’). What middle school girl back then didn’t have a crush on Davy Jones or Mickey Dolenz? As for the Hudsons, they were a pop band on the scene at the time and I thought Bill was dreamy (Fun Fact: he was married to Goldie Hawn and his daughter is actress Kate Hudson). My sisters and I would giggle at their zany skits and swoon when they played some of their hit songs (a favorite of mine: So You Are a Star).

As morning devolved into afternoon, once dinner dishes and other chores were done, our family enjoyed watching bowling. Bowling that is broadcast now on TV (oh, it’s out there if you channel surf long enough) is nothing like it was back then. Today’s ten-pin action is a loud, noisy affair taking on what I imagine the patrons experienced back in the days of gladiator action in the Roman coliseum. However, when I was growing up, TV bowling was quiet, solemn almost. No wildly cheering crowds as the bowler prepared to throw the ball which is done today, I’m sure, in an effort to boost ratings from what some might consider to be a fading sport. In any case, we all enjoyed it and when Dad took us bowling we sometimes took on the names of the famous bowlers of the day in filling out our score sheets (my favorite back then was Carmen Salvino).

Of course, Saturday afternoons also found us glued to the set when there was something good on the Wide World of Sports. Despite repeated viewings, I recall how my dad still groaned in disbelief every time when that poor skier flew off course during the opening ‘thrill of victory and agony of defeat’ film montage. Figure skating was a favorite for us girls. We also enjoyed swimming and diving.

The real fun – and adrenalin rush – of what we watched on Saturday afternoons came when scary movie thrillers were shown. We sat through countless Christopher Lee horror films and other films of this genre such as I Saw What You Did, a 1965 suspense classic where two teenage girls become targets of a murderer after they randomly call his number as a prank. Other films of this kind that are locked in my memory include Whatever Happened to Baby Jane and Picture Mommy Dead with its haunting theme The Hearse Song, which as I remember it, went something like this:

When you see a hearse go by, you will know someone has died

They bury you six feet deep and then the coffin begins to leak.

The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,

They crawl through your stomach and out your mouth.

Later in the evening our family would sit down to enjoy The Monroes, a story about a family trying to settle the land and make a life for themselves on the frontier. Saturday night primetime would include The Carol Burnett Show or the original Bob Newhart and one of my favorites, Mary Tyler Moore. News and weather at ten o’clock – if we were still awake by then – and on particularly late nights for us kids, we might actually make it through yet another movie (ones that I fondly recall include Elephant Walk and The Long Ships). You knew you were getting more grown up if you were still awake when the Star Spangled Banner played to signal the end of the broadcast day. After the final notes of our national anthem: Static. Note to Younger Readers: If you are puzzled as to what I’m referring to, I invite you to check out the 1982 film Poltergeist. An early scene in the movie shows exactly what this looked like.

Today’s TV landscape is entirely different today. Hundreds of cable channels, streaming, subscriber services – all available at any time, day or night. So many options, while exhilarating in some ways, serve to numb us (and dumb us down?) at the same time. Perhaps this is why watching those old standards on Me TV is so pleasurable. Still though, I wouldn’t trade the fun and enjoyment we had from watching the new groundbreakers such as Breaking Bad, Portlandia, House of Cards and Orange is the New Black. A new era of excellent TV – perhaps the best ever.

A summary of Saturday television, of course, would not be complete without mention of Saturday Night Live, which first aired in 1975. Raucous, edgy, groundbreaking and FUNNY! – this Saturday night staple has provided countless laughs and memorable moments and has launched the careers of many of the best comedic – and dramatic acting – names in the business.

Other days of the week have also offered great TV but in my opinion Saturday has dominated over the years. Today however, with easy, inexpensive access to recording devices, it no longer matters what day any of our favorite programs air. The challenge now though is finding time to watch them all.

This chap sure has a way with words
Prose and thought
Our heart’s desire.

All for naught,
For technology fans the flames.
Controversy that is sure
To feed the fire?

OK. Longfellow, I’m not. Still though I thought this was worth a share…

Dennis N. O'Brien's avatardnobrienpoetry

An over educated twit,
An algorithm he has writ
To analyze poetic Lit
And sort the good stuff from the shit.

No, this is not a silly joke;
I’m not aware that he’s a soak.
He’s just a poor misguided bloke
Who got in with some dodgy folk.

In coding up his little app
This un-poetic confused chap
Post modern brains set out to tap,
But all he got was free verse sap

From pros at universities,
Where each with everyone agrees;
Where rhyme and reason no one sees
And all are paid quite handsome fees.

He reasoned these guys write the best
So used their methods for his test.
No matter how their words were messed
These must be better than the rest.

‘Twas engineering in reverse:
These poets on the public purse
Told him theirs was the proper verse;
All other styles – well they were worse.

He…

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I’ve been told if you’re planning a trip overseas you should begin preparations a year in advance. Perhaps this is so but in my mother’s case her recently completed trip to Ireland (‘twas “wonderful” she sighed!) was booked barely three months prior. In any case we’re contemplating just such a grand adventure ourselves for 2015.

So. Where to go? For the last several years we’ve had serious discussions about visiting Germany. We even went so far as to contact a travel agent to learn about our options. In the beginning we seriously considered backpacking our way across the region, traversing into neighboring countries via Eurail carrying our travel necessities with us along the way. I still find this hugely appealing but perhaps only after an initial trip or two to the continent are firmly entrenched under our belts.

While Germany is still on our bucket list other countries vie for our attention (and travel dollars!) as well. With ancestral roots in Norway, Ireland and England in addition to the Deutschland we have several options to choose from. Not that lineage will be the final arbitrator in where we might go. Italy, Scotland, France and even Istanbul beckon. Disclaimer: That last option is on my list, not Bill’s. I read a fascinating book a few years ago called The Historian. It is a story rooted in the Slavic region of Europe telling the brutal tale of Vlad the Impaler, the basis of the Dracula character as we know it today. Some of the story’s action takes place in Istanbul and I was curious to learn more. After a little research and seeing some incredible photos Istanbul secured a place on my travel To Do list.

We’ve got our work cut out for us but this is my kind of labor. The planning is half the fun (or half the battle depending on your perspective). Having something to look forward to is, for me, the very spice of life: sage, cinnamon, ginger, anise, basil, coriander, cardamom and nutmeg. I love them all! And, so too, do I enjoy the dreaming, the research, the planning and the anticipation of any kind of travel expedition whether it’s a weekend getaway or a trip half way around the world.

We’ve still got a few years left before our passports expire and the Life Clock is ticking away! Stay tuned for further developments.

What is on your travel To Do list? Where do you want to go? Where have you been that you’d return to in a heartbeat? I’d love to hear from you!

Several years ago my dad commissioned an acquaintance to create a totem pole for the old homestead. He was quite proud of the results and enjoyed showing off the ‘zombies’ as he once described them to me. Fortunately it occurred to me a couple of months ago after Mom put the place up for sale that maybe I should capture their likenesses for future reference, like maybe when the Zombie Apocalypse they foretell finally does arrive. This way I’ll know what to be on the lookout for.

My mother called me today.   A week from tomorrow the movers will come to start packing it all up — fifty-five plus years of living in the same house, walking the same grounds, tending the same gardens, greeting the same morning sun each day and watching the same sun set each night.  She’ll be leaving the house where she and dad raised the six of us girls, the house where we faced down hardships and rough times and celebrated many happy occasions:  birthdays, holidays, parties, milestones, graduations and weddings.  And the arrival of eleven beautiful grandchildren.

A final send-off is planned for the night before she closes on the new house.  If the weather cooperates we’re hoping to sit around the fire pit one last time.  Contemplating this celebration of sorts today gave me pause.  I didn’t choke up — not yet.  Because I’ve been sick the entire month of July I have not been able to help with the packing so when I go up there to help for the final move I know it’s going to hit me hard.  It’s going to be a difficult time for all of us for that matter.  We need to steel ourselves for Mom’s sake.  Put on a happy, optimistic, just-think-about-what-you-have-to-look-forward-to face. Full speed ahead!

We can’t or shouldn’t deny the sense of loss and finality — it’s going to be all too real for that — but we’ll strive instead to look forward.  Mom’s moving into a house in town where there will be less upkeep, less maintenance and she’ll be closer to friends, church, appointments.  She’s excited and we’re happy for her.  But she knows and accepts that it will be hard to say goodbye.

Since my dad died seven years ago her life has been a roller-coaster ride.  Ups and downs, many changes, health issues, family drama — adjustments to a totally foreign way of life.  Mom and Dad were married for more than fifty years.  My mother is not an out-going woman.  She doesn’t like to draw attention to herself.  Not in a withdrawn, wallflower sort of way but she’s just not one to put herself out there.  She likes her alone time and yet again since Dad’s been gone being alone has been extremely difficult for her as well.

As mothers tend to do she can cause some frustration and annoyance for us, her daughters.  Sometimes its a real challenge dealing with her and her ways.  I would guess we’re not alone in that based on conversations with others and things you read and hear about!  Mom will be 79 this year.  She’s not going to change and well, none of us is perfect.  We all — yes, even you Julie! — possess that innate human ability to drive others closest to us (those we love and who love us) absolutely bonkers.  So we accept her for who she is and do what we can to make these last years as comfortable and comforting for her as we can.

So.  Here’s to you Mom.  To yet another transition and best wishes for a happy, rewarding and enjoyable life change.  Good luck, good cheer and good health — may you have all three in abundance!

 

I like what this blogger has to say about travel and the world and wanted to share it with all of you!

trose1189's avatarThe Way I Wander

Someone recently asked me why I love to travel, and I didn’t have an immediate answer for them. It wasn’t something I’d seriously thought about before. My initial reply was simply, “Well, why wouldn’t I? It’s awesome!”

But that’s not a very good answer. And so I’ve thought about it.

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Brick & Ivy

For me there’s just something about these weathered doors , old brick and abundant greenery that makes for such a compelling scene. I wonder what this old structure, embedded in one of the bluffs in beautiful downtown Galena, Illinois, was used for back in the day. Any ideas?